That ghastly concept of "submission" is so 1st Century.... Or is it???

     This morning I taught a Women's Bible Study at our church on the topic of submission as found in 1 Corinthians 11 and written by the apostle Paul.  Now, let me be clear... I did not choose to teach on this topic.  In fact, when I was reading ahead in 1 Corinthians a few weeks ago realizing I was scheduled to teach today I "recounted" how many weeks there were until this chapter at least five times.  It was literally the LAST thing I wanted to teach on.  I kept praying that some (not-serious) disaster would strike and I would get to teach the next week instead.  Next week's chapter covers "Spiritual Gifts" in the church.  Like -- speaking in tongues, prophesying, etc.,  Yes, I literally wanted to teach on one of the most controversial issues in the church today instead of teach on the topic of submission.  

    Why?  You may ask.  Well... I'll tell you.  I am the least naturally submissive person that was ever born.  This is not a joke.  Ask my husband.  Heck, ask my parents.  If you tell me I'm supposed to do something I don't think will be highly enjoyable, I will fight you the entire way kicking and screaming and screaming obscenities.  Okay... not the last part... I don't really have a potty mouth... but maybe screaming insults at you.  That's probably more realistic.

     Anyways, the idea that a woman needed to be submissive to her husband and that God MADE us that way was the suckiest concept in the world to me.  What the heck?!?!  Isn't God supposed to be loving and just?  Why would that kind of God expect me to kowtow to another human being, a man, who is just sinful like me??  No way could that be right.

    Oh, and did I mention that this chapter in the Bible specifically discusses this topic centering around how a woman wears her hair?  How superficial is that??!!  There's no way that how a woman wears her hair, long vs. short, covered vs. uncovered, should have any reflection on her spiritual discipline.  That's so... ugh... I don't even know a word to describe how turned off I was by this chapter the first time I read it.  

   Well... I'm happy to say that in the month I've been preparing for this lesson, my eyes have literally been opened to so many new truths God is sharing in this passage.  After studying this and teaching on this topic, I am so much more comfortable with the idea of submission, and even with how a woman should wear her hair.  I now view God's calling for women to be submissive to their husbands as a beautiful opportunity to reflect how Jesus was submissive to the Father when he died on the cross.  Now, tell me I can learn how to be more like Christ, and you have my attention, because, that's what living the Christian life is all about, right?

  Now, lest you fear that I've fallen off my rocker and have made a 180 degree turn and you will now find me dressed only in floor length mumus and never taking scissors to my hair again, there's no need for alarm.  No.  I don't necessarily think this passage is literally saying all women should wear their hair long and covered, or else!!  What I do now realize is that God made women differently than men for a reason, and God doesn't make mistakes, so we might as well embrace the differences!!  

  So, instead of ranting further on this topic, I decided to instead post my notes that I used to teach this morning... I pray you enjoy, contemplate, and glean something of how God made you uniquely beautiful (if you are a woman, of course -- if you're a man, you're obviously uniquely "handsome" :-))

  * A disclaimer -- many of these conclusions are not mine, and are instead a culmination of study from respected theologians (especially The MacArthur Commentary, which is fabulous) who actually have degrees in this stuff... so don't worry -- I won't make you a heretic if you choose to embrace any of these thoughts!!  

The Word of God

1 Corinthians 11:1-16

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

Head Coverings

2 Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. 3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife[a] is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 4 Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, 5 but every wife[b] who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. 6 For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. 7 For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.[c] 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15 but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering. 16 If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.

My Notes:

Theme: Women are EQUAL in the kingdom as far as value, spiritual potential, intellect, etc.,  HOWEVER -- they function uniquely in God's created order and are best suited to live that way based upon the following points:

1) Pattern in the Godhead (vs. 3)

2) Divine design of male vs. female (vs.7)

3) The order of creation (vs 8)

4) The purpose of woman in regard to man (vs 9)

5) The concerns of angels (vs. 10)

6) characteristics of natural physiology

We as women need to resist the temptation to pick and choose what scripture says about women just because it seems offensive at first.

Breakdown:

Verse 2 - "Traditions" refers to God's word in the OT -- Paul is praising them for asking for guidance and not just trying to interpret God's word for themselves .

~ The Corinthians were caught between theology, morality and the harmful pagan culture they were escaping

~ Corinthian women were seen as sub-human and were often enslaved, abused and forced into prostitution, so now that they found freedom in Christ, they didn't want to be told they needed to be submissive to ANYONE, even their husbands.

Verse 3 - Paul tries to show that submission isn't inherently a bad th ing.

~ If Jesus hadn't submitted to the will of the Father, He wouldn't have been able to save mankind by dying on the cross.

~ Word "head" means 'controlling part' -- this is used in three different) ways.  

1) Christ is the 'head' of every man

2) Man is the 'head' of woman

3) God is the 'head' of Christ -- again, he ends on this positive example that all men & women can understand and embrace.

Key point -- Our challenge is to see our role of submission as an opportunity to be like Jesus

Verse 4-6 -- We DO have to take Corinthian culture into consideration when literally reading this passage 

~ Culturally, even today, a man would not have worn a veil on his head at any time.  If he were to do that, he would be a visual distraction.

~ Likewise, culturally at the time, "normal" women had long hair and wore veils.

~ In Jewish culture, an adulteress was the only women who wore short hair -- to distinguish her from godly society.

~ So, for a woman to wear her hair short would have been a cultural distraction and would not have made her an effective witness to others about the Gospel.  

~ We need to be cognizant of our audience as believers.  (i.e., I wouldn't wear a bathing suit to women's Bible study because my teaching would be ineffective due to the distraction of my appearance)

Key Point -- Macarthur and other respected theologians thus conclude that Paul wasn't stating a permanent universal necessity for women to always wear their head covered, just that it made sense in that society.  HOWEVER, the principle behind it (submission) still applies today -- we can't just say that only applied in those times and not live by the reasoning behind it.

~ One way the Corinthian women were trying to assert their newfound equality in Jesus was to cut their hair and wear it uncovered to look like men to show they weren't "owned" by any man.  Paul is discouraging this practice, and now goes into a defense as to why women should act like women, and not try to resemble men.

Verse 7-10 -- Paul reminds us the order in which God created us. We are equal in value to Him, but we demonstrate different sides of His glory than man.

~ Man is both the "glory" and "image" of God, because God created him out of nothing.  

~ Likewise, women are made in the "image" of God, but Paul differentiates by saying women are the "glory" of man.

~~~  I see it like this -- God showed one of his majestic abilities -- creating something out of nothing -- when he created man.  Whereas when he created woman, he created something uniquely beautiful from one of his creations.  It showed a different side of His creativity.  Thus -- we were intended to be different from men. (this is sometimes tough in our society to be told we're not "the same" as men)

~"Because of the angels" -- this is sort of a random statement in the passage, but Macarthur explains the following thought --

~~~ Angels are created as completely submissive beings.  And they were also witnesses to Creation and the order in which it happened.  So, they "know" we are supposed to be man's helpmate - not his superior.  If we don't act that way, then we're setting a bad example for the angels, and they'll be offended, and even possibly tempted to be insubordinate themselves, of course, a dangerous thing.

Vs. 11-12 -- Christianity helped liberate women, and here, Paul reminds men that although the first woman came from a man, subsequent men come from the body of a woman, so the two go hand in hand and are equally as important.

~ But if we're not careful -- Satan can tempt us to ignore the physiological differences between women and lose our uniqueness.

Vs. 13-16 Paul gives a biology lesson

~~  Hair growth happens in three stages 1) Growth   2) Rest    3) Fall out.

~~~~~Men reach the fallout stage earlier than women because of their testosterone.  Contrarily, women have more estrogen, which lengthens the "resting" stage.  

~ so, if you sent a man and a women into the desert each with a shaved head and left them there for a few years, when they came back, the woman's hair would be noticeably longer than the man's.  

Key Point:  God created us to be biologically different, and for women, he emphasized our hair.   It's intended to be longer and fuller than a man's.  If we ignore those biological differences and try to claim that we're "the same" in every way as man, we're denying the fact that God intended us to be different, and thus implying that God made a "mistake" in creating Woman the way He did.  

Final Thoughts -- God intended for women to be man's helpmate.  So He created us second.  This naturally makes man the "head" of the woman.  But, man cannot exist without woman, so there's a mutual dependence in that relationship.  God has given us a unique opportunity as woman to learn the art of submission as a way to model Christ's submission to the Father on the cross.  The literal covering of a woman's head can be seen as taken within the historical context because a woman with shorter hair was either an adulteress, or trying to deny the womanhood God gave her -- both no-no's!!  So, Paul isn't literally saying (vs. 16) that the church is demanding that women should cover their heads at all times.  What he IS saying, however, is that a woman should be mindful of the culture in which she lives in and take precaution to not be a distraction from spreading the Gospel.  Also, she needs to examine her heart if she finds herself not wanting to be submissive -- God made us different for His divine purposes, and God doesn't make mistakes so we shouldn't try to be just like men.  Biologically, we're different from men and we should embrace and thank God for that!

WWIII-- War Between Practicality and Passion.... Part 1

       So I'm going to be straight up honest here, and most likely long-winded!  I have been nothing but blessed beyond belief in my limited lifetime.   That may come as somewhat of a surprising statement for those of you who know me.  For those who don't, let me tell you why the others may be thinking I'm a bit nuts to say that.  I was born with a terminal illness -- specifically cystic fibrosis.  In a nutshell, it's a genetic disease that affects proteins of certain cells, causing an extra amount of sticky mucous to clog and damage your lungs, pancreas, etc.,  Because of this all CFers (as we like to be called), have extra salty skin, and most of us don't digest food properly on our own, so we have to eat almost double what a normal person eats in a day.  Yes, you read all that right.  I am, in fact, an X-Man.  I have visibly salty skin and can eat whatever I want, as much as I want.  I call myself the NaCL Bottomless Pit-Girl.  

     Unfortunately, for most of us CFers, those interesting positives don't outweigh the negatives.  when I was born, the life expectancy of a newborn with CF was somewhere in the late teens.  Today, thanks to awesome medical researchers and the tireless efforts of generations of doctors, that number is now in the 40s.  Amazing, right?  And that's just the average.  For me personally, my expectancy is likely much longer than that.  By the grace of God I've retained more than 90% of my lung function, which in medical terms, means I still don't technically even have diseased lungs yet (to be considered as having lung disease your numbers have to be less than 80%).    

  And did I mention I've given birth to two babies?  Since children born fifty years ago with CF weren't expected to live longer than a decade, and when I was born, not expected to make it to college, CF women having babies is a very new concept and a phenomenon that is still being studied and understood more every day, so for a CF patient to have one is sort of a minor miracle.  Two -- astonishing. 

   So... I'm married to an amazing man (read my previous posts if you don't believe me), I have two beautiful and healthy daughters, I have a job I love, and I'm almost perfectly healthy.  I should be 100% content and grateful to sail off into the sunset in my perfectly harmonious life, right?  

   WRONG....
   Here's why--

   We really struggled to get pregnant with our first baby.  It took two years and lots of money and lots of prayers and lots of tears. Thankfully, my husband, the ever practical and faithful man, took it all in stride (and in line at a lot of take-out Chinese places, because that's the only thing that cheers me up when I'm sad in the hormonal sense :-) ).  In all aspects, he kept me hopeful, faithful and sane.  He helped me face my fears of being childless by hanging Bible verses fighting against anxiety all over our house.  He encouraged me to read them and memorize them and believe them.  That last part took me longer than it should have.  But I got there eventually.  Yet still, after I did learn to actually trust that God had a plan for my life, whether that involved children or not, and that anxiety does nothing for us in the process of sanctification, or sanity, our fertility problems were not yet solved.  But I had something to cling to now.  

   My favorite verse during this time was Mark 11:23 -- "Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him."  

   I wrote it on my chalkboard that hung in our kitchen that I normally used to rotate verses.  But this one, for some reason, I left up.  I read it every day.  And I found that after a month or two of reading it multiple times every day, I finally did really start to believe it.

  I don't think it is a coincidence that not a month later we did finally get pregnant and go on to have our first daughter.  Now, I'm not saying that those who struggle with fertility are not being faithful enough, or that those who are not really clinging to their faith just need to do that and then they'll achieve a pregnancy.  God has different plans for everyone, and for His children, those plans are all beautiful in their unique way.  No person's story will play out just like mine did.  What I am saying is that I think God was taking me personally on a faith journey that I had to complete before I would be ready to take on the role of motherhood.

  So, you may think... she finally got pregnant... Happy ending!!  Yey! 

   I would say yes.  But apparently I've blocked out of my memory the actual ten months it took to bring her into the world.  If you ask my husband, he would tell you that the positive pregnancy test was nothing close to a happy ending... at least not yet.   

   Apparently when I am pregnant I am a raging she-devil of madness.  Like I said, I have almost no memory of any of this, but I've been told, by family and good friends (lest you think my husband's just being a drama queen) that I was, in fact, a candidate for the loony bin during my first pregnancy.  What I do remember is this -- in spite of the fact that I had believed God was capable of anything, and knew that only He had been powerful enough to land me pregnant in the first place, I still didn't really trust Him to bring my baby safely into the world. 

 So, I lived literally every single moment of those ten months in utter fear.  Every pain, every ten minutes that went by without a movement by the baby, convinced me that she had died and that I was still never going to be a mother.  (Again, I am not saying that every person's story will be like this, one way or the other -- this is just my experience)  And as the pregnancy hormones grew, and the baby grew, so did my fear.  At its best, I was an unhappily functioning pregnant person walking on eggshells.  At its worst, I was a catatonic paralytic specimen incapable of productive human interaction or thought processes.  Of course I don't remember the latter, so it's all just reliable hearsay.  

     I don't know how my husband did it.  And if you ask him, he'll say he doesn't know either.  Again though, God was trying to teach me something, and in the end, similarly to my struggle to get pregnant in the first place, I found the ability to trust that He really would take care of it, and after an uneventful birth, and ridding my body of all the hormones, (which, let's face it... drive every woman at least a little batty, right?) I was able to start off motherhood on solid footing.  That baby is turning 4 next week, and most people would say she's mostly normal, albeit a bit dramatic, so I guess we got our happy ending... temporarily.          

*************************************************************************

   Now Entering from Stage Left --  Baby #2!!

  Well... back up... after Baby #1, we decided that we wouldn't ever pay for fertility treatments again.  We had our miracle baby.  In my husband's opinion, our little family was complete.  Why not stop at perfection?  (She does look and act EXACTLY like me, so I can't argue with him there :-) ) On the outside, in my speech and in public, I agreed with him.  I played along, but not because I was just trying to appease him.  It was really because I was trying to fool myself.  I had been so blessed already with my sweet baby.  And it took so much to get her there... and we weren't going to go through all of that again... so... If A then B,  then C.... or something like that.  I had to convince myself that our family of three was enough.  As far as we knew, it wasn't possible to get pregnant on our own.  So, we were going to forever be a cute family of 3.  And truly, I was happy, and absolutely content.  But really, I think it's because I didn't know of the other possibilities. 

   Ah!!  Now, we can cue Baby #2.  No, I didn't somehow come into millions of dollars to go through more fertility treatments.  Baby #2 made her entrance into this world the old-fashioned, and obviously surprising way.  Thankfully, this time around, I wasn't QUITE as insane as I had been for the first pregnancy.  Actually, from where I'm standing, I remember being MUCH more sane.  The jury's out on my husband's opinion, who still claims that the entire ten months were from hell, just with a few less "emergency" Labor and Delivery Unit trips.  Baby #2 arrived uneventfully and healthy, just as her sister.  Now... My sweet husband said... our family is obviously complete!  We had one more than we even thought possible.  (This one, ironically, looks and acts just like him, so again, in his mind... we've attained the ultimately perfect family!)  Two beautiful girls, healthy as can be, smart as whips and delightful as puppies.  Who could ask for anything more??!!  

  I could.   I do.    I will now explain to you the major difference between my husband and me.  He sees perfection and is satisfied.  I see potential and am hungry. 

  No, I don't want to breed and devour small children.  But I do want just one more.  BADLY.  And, in true Meagan fashion, MADLY.  I think about it every day.  I pray about it every night.

   In my mind, if we've had two healthy babies we are totally in love with, why not trust God that He can do it again, (if He wants to, of course).  After all, I argue.  "Children are a heritage from the Lord."  (Psalm 127:3)  I'm not looking or seeking a huge heritage here.  Just a heritage triple in nature.  Sounds fair, and reasonable, yes?

  Not if you ask my husband.  This is where my inner turmoil comes in.  Every one of his reasons for not having another child are perfectly practical and reasonable.  Below are a summation of his arguments: 

  1. We have two beautiful children.  I came through both pregnancies unscathed CF-wise.  Why push our luck?  Plus, he's cool with just our two, no desire for more.  2. Children are expensive.  He's a youth minister.  I'm a part-time violin teacher.  We're not exactly rolling in the coinage.  All done -- That's it!  His reasons for no new Baby.

  Okay... Okay...  Fine... I'll say it. #3.  I'm deranged when I'm pregnant.  

   Now, I will not go into my answers in response to these arguments here, (or even give you my reasons for wanting another child, because, I'm pretty sure that they're the same reasons anyone wants a child) .  After all, I don't get his permission or send it to him ahead of time when I write this blog, and it wouldn't be fair or respectful to him for me to argue with him via the internet.  That would just be plain tacky and the opposite of Biblical.  

  What I will say is this... to those of you who know me and know how much I want another baby, and to those of you who know him and have heard his reasons for not and rightfully consider him a level-headed, wise man... I want you to know this---  I hear his reasons.  I understand them.  And honestly, I agree with every one of them.  

  I believe his reasons are God-given and that he's arrived at them after much careful thought, prayer, reading of scripture and by seeking wise biblical counsel from mentors he trusts.  I know in my heart he has come to this conclusion not because he inherently wants to disagree with me or cause me emotional pain, but because of his unconditional love and desire to lead our family on God's path for us and to protect the family we already have here on this earth, especially our innocent children.  And for that, I love him desperately.  

  What I can't say, though, is that I don't feel the same way about my desire to have one more.  If I can just lay out the ugly truth, this one desire has brought me to my knees in desperate prayer more than any thing in my life up to this point.  I've prayed harder, searched scripture, shed more tears, sought biblical counsel and wisdom from people much more holy than I, and yet, I feel more lost and alone than in any other time in my life or marriage.  

  I can honestly say this season of my life is the worst.  And the reason is very obvious to me.  For the first time in our marriage, or in my life at all, really, I feel like my convictions about something are completely in competition with the person I love most-- my partner, my help-mate, the leader of my family.  In every other challenge I've faced in my life, whether it be health-related, fertility, job searches, etc., every important person in my life has been "on the same team" -- we've all been praying for the same thing.  In harmony.  This is the first time I don't feel completely in synch with my loved ones, especially my husband.  

  I tell you... it is literally the worst.  To not be on the same page on something so important with my man is so awful.  We're at a stale mate; each believing our position is the right one for our family.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  

  So, here's the only thing I can think to do-- the reason I wrote this blog... so that you can be my witnesses.  

     I promise to make sure that every time I pray or read scripture seeking wisdom on this subject, that I do it with an open heart -- i.e., "God, please direct me to your will for us." and even harder... "God, if it is your will that we not have another child, PLEASE, I beg of you, change my heart."  I will tell you that even more than praying for another child, this is my front-most prayer.  I'm willing to have my heart changed on this, for the sake of my family, for the sake of my marriage, and for the sake of my journey with the Lord.  I know that He may ultimately ask me to put aside my desires for another child for any of those reasons, and I'm fully prepared (maybe not excitedly, let's be real) to do that.  

  Herein lies the rub, though... so far, after months of these prayers... nothing has changed.  And, (of course, because there would be absolutely no point in this whole rant otherwise) nothing has changed from my husband's perspective either.  So, I have to believe that God has something for us to learn in the intermediate time.  I only pray and hope that I won't be too insane or passionate to see it... and if I can be so bold... that my husband won't be too practical either :-) 

    There you have it... WWIII -- the ultimate conflict between a godly man of practicality and a (trying to be) godly woman of unwavering passion.  

   Now don't be afraid... I'm not actually planning on writing a 'Part 2' to this blog any time soon.  But if and when we ever come to a resolution, I will be sure to let you know.   In the meantime, I covet your prayers, wisdom and encouragement as I navigate this frustrating and emotional road I currently find myself on.